Moving On After Rejection

About a week to two weeks ago I've been rejected by a guy...AGAIN! Only this time it was the worst one ever! I've been crushing on the guy for about a year and a half and I thought there might have been something but I guess I was wrong eh :P I cried for about 2 days but then moved on as I always do! I'm not fully "recovered" yet but I will get through it :D

And to get to the point of this :P Well as the title says I've never been in love and it doesn't bother me 100% and at the moment I found a video of this really cute dance from SYTYCD and it's really helping me I don't know why :P Basically it's a dance choreographed by NappyTabs and the dancers are Marko & Melanie (this year's winner) to I Got U by Leona Lewis. It gave me hope, I felt it telling me "hey, cheer up if it's not this guy it's another one!" & for those who are maybe going through the same thing, THERE IS SOMEONE SPECIAL WAITING FOR YOU OUT THERE :). This is what I truly believe when it comes to love: God has a great plan for each and every one of us and it might involve a great guy or maybe not. At the end we'll surely be happy because God only wants to see us living happily :)


Here's A link To The Dance From SYTYCD :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czcpQyI-MH8

Sometimes I Just Want To Take Off My Mask!

Life if FULL of ups and downs. In my case at the moment I'm going downhill. Downhill in everything : exams, religion & family. The only thing that might keep me going at the moment are my friends. Still everyday I feel like I put on a mask 'cause I'm scared of whom I might be , scared to be the one that is always sad and unhappy.

Well at the moment I don't even realize I'm wearing a mask sometimes it just comes naturally! Until, until I listen to a song or find a prayer I wrote ages ago or maybe even read one of my older posts. Then I realize how deep I store my bad feelings. And I think about what the hell happened? I mean when I was young I was always happy, I didn't really care about anything except happiness and now I've grown I guess. All day I've been thinking bout just this one line from a song "Back When I Was A Child Before life removed all the innocence" you recognize that? It's from Dance With My Father by Luther Vandross . That line has been haunting me since this morning! Well, when I was young I wanted to grow up badly to have a taste of freedom. I could go out without my parents, I could shop till I drop, find the perfect boyfriend who looks like he came out of a Tom Tailor ad and loads more teenager stuff I guess. Only to find out the total opposite. Guilt kills me. I wish I could go back. I fight all day with my mum and nothing I do can stop it, I wish I could go back to being that young girl who would cry when my dad worked long hours or because my mum is sick. Now, all I think about is how I will move out one day and I picture a bird flying out of a locked cage.

My question: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED ??????!!!!!!!!

I've become a girl who cries alone in bed at night well not everyday but a lot of times! I fight constantly with my mum. I don't care about anything except music, I escape everyday to a world full of perfect harmonies only to wake up to find It's the opposite. I haven't been to one of the youth meetings I used to attend in ages. Going there I feel like a total hypocrite, at home I'm always mad & grumpy and there I worship God and I'm a totally different person. I'm so caught Up in the perfect dream of being a woman of God and stuff that I forget why I even go, It's like I go because I'm used to it and I my Saturdays feel empty without it! But it's like I'm stuck. I listen to a worship song and the lyrics make perfect sense but then I've NEVER felt so far away from God as I do know.It's like there's something holding me back and its not the fights with my mum or exams or anything I just don't know!

So all I want to do Is remove this mask and break it into a TRILLION PIECES. I want to tear down the wall around me, around my heart! I want to be happy again, really happy. I want to be able to be able to talk to my friends about my bad feelings to,which most times I'm afraid to do so cause not everyone likes listening to how someone else's life kind of sucks right now!

You know what though, I have hope. I have hope that I'll be back to that person who knows why I worship God. To that HAPPY PERSON! Hope that one day I'll be able to help people who maybe are going through a hell-like phase like mine.

Goodnight My Fellow Friends!

And if you feel the same way just stop and pray, have faith in God that's what I'm trying to do!

Here are some songs that help : ( though If you're going through a REALLY bad time they might not make sense,as what happens to me sometimes, but they help)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCVvSArfVw0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQITGt09aBQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6llRLJTbNwg

Lots Of love,

Edel xxx <3

Feelings and Talents

So today i was talking to a friend of mine and her uncle cam up. Her uncle is an artist and apparently he lost his mother at a really young age soo he expresses all the feelings he has for her and how much he misses her through art. It got me thinking that the more you express yourself through art, through lyric writing the more you can reach out to other people and most importantly reach out to God.What I mean is that your talent helps you express your feelings about the past.So if you maybe are scared about sharing your talent with the rest of the world don't be 'cause the message behind your talent that is coming deeply from the heart can really touch someone elses heart nad maybe you'll make him feel better.Many times in the bible we find that we should never hide our talent than COME ON!!! Show the world how good you are! Tell the world how you feel! Most importantly BE YOU!!
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive and inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Colossians 3:23-24

We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. Romans 12:6-8 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Romans 12:11 Prayer: Lord I pray for all those who are maybe scared to express themselves the way you want them too! Help them be what you planned for them to be, GREAT PEOPLE! Give them courage in everything they wish to do and never leave them blinded! AMEN

love

You remeber the song by black eyed peas "Where is the love?" if not here, listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H1r1BMmGbc. For me it's lyrics make EXTREME sense. I mean one of the lyrics mentions what Jesus used to preach and the lyrics say : Would you turn the other cheek?? I mean why do we have to have revenge? Why don't we turn the other cheek? For me this is why we have siblings not talking to eachother, dissolution of marriages, war, bullying, suicide and all of these terrible things!! Guys would it really hurt to go visit your sick grandma once in a while? Would it hurt to appologize to your parents when you're not right? Would it hurt if we speak to that weird girl who's always sitting alone during recess?? I mean this is really something really small you can do. PAY IT FORWARD!!!! come on the boy in the movie pay it forward DIED to spread the love! all you have to do is show love to others and others will show love to others and it keeps going on!

It really buggs me when someone gives money for charity out of love and then you find out that the guy doesn't speak to his mum. Well, he should give money but heshould also speak to his mum!!

The greatest people who ever lived on this earth become famous just because they loved. Mahadma Ghandi(hope i've written it correctly),JESUS, Mother Teresa and A LOT of others. These are people we should follow in there footsteps!

So help this world become a lovely world by giving a little love to one another. Start by saying THANK YOU to the Lord every morning! SHOW THAT BASTARD SATAN THAT THE MORE HATE HE BRINGS AROUND THE MORE LOVE WE ARE GOING TO GIVE = p

When I find it hard to love I just tell myself "look at what Jesus did out of HIS LOVE!!". I mean Jesus died to show how much he loves us so start spreading the love even though it might hurt to do so + when you love you'll feel happier =]

I <3 U GUYS!!!!

"Love until it hurts" Mother Teresa of Calcutta

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.– John 3:16

THE PICTURES SAY IT ALL = ]

Inner Beauty

So @ school about two days ago we had about 1 hr and a half of reflection part of spiritual week. They basically helped us walk through Jesus' journey to the Golgotta and told us about several christian who died for the christian church. They showed us a picture of a woman named Annalena Tonelli who was an Italian Humanitarian working in affrica and if you see a picture of her not knowing who she is you would really think she's ugly but the fact that she was an amazing woman and did sooo much her inner beauty shines through.The same goes for Mother Theresa of Calcutta and many others.

So all I'm trying to say is that we shouldn't take notice the outer beauty of others but we should also take into consideration their inner beauty.All the time we judge books by its cover just to realise that it's one of the most amazing books.The same with people.We judge people on what clothes they wear, what friends they've got, how rich they are, how fat or thin they are etc. We should get to know them and see what they're really about. Find out how AWESOME their characters are. We shouldn't label people we should accept the way they are.I mean God created them the way they are on his own image so we must look at everyone from a view of love just like he did does and always will do = ]




Annalena Tonelli




Mother Theresa Of Calcutta


"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." Proverbs 31:30

"Let your beauty not be external – the braiding of hair and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes – but the inner person of the heart, the lasting beauty of a gentle and tranquil spirit, which is precious in God’s sight." 1Peter 3:3-4

First Ever Blog - Trying To Prove Something Isn't Always Right

So its my first Blog spot and have NO idea what to name it. So I always liked the Ideas of blogs but never thought I'm able to have one 'cause I really never know what to write so just right now you might read a load of crap or not but whatever. I'm loving this YEY I have ablog lolz = ] so although I love to smile I'm going through a bit of fighting with my mum as school is the most important for her and to prove that it's not I just don't Study.It was ok for about well the last 13 years of my life now this year it's different I'm a 14 year old and I still want to prove that school is not the most important!!!Now it's different 'cause I'm failing and failing BADLY!! The worst thing is she's going to ground me i.e the place where i feel relaxed is going to be banned!! I'm literally pissed off 'cause my happy place is a praise and worship group I go to every saturday called y4j and she shouldn't even dare to ban me from going 'cause come on It's a place where I get to meet God in a different way than I can ANYWHERE else and I guess she doesn't get that!!Well Maybe I am doing the bad thing but come on school isn't the most important thing!!

So like my title says I am doing the wrong thing or well proving in the WRONG way.So now I decided to study and my exams are about 2 1/2 months away and I'm already half way through one of my biology topics so I'll get great grades. STILL getting great marks doesn't mean I agree with my mum but at least I won't be grounded.

So now I've decided also to turn to the bible instead of fighting so when my mum screams I'll just nod and pray for this time of stress to pass = ] and that keeps me smiling ALWAYS = ]

"When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles." (Psalm 34:17)

"When I called, you answered me; you made me bold and stouthearted." (Psalm 138:3)

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." (Deuteronomy 33:27)